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Crisis Assistance Ministry

Crisis Assistance Ministry

Charlotte, NC

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“Don’t Feel Sorry for Me”

A recent discussion and training session brought together college-aged interns with community advocates who have experienced life on the bottom rung of the economic ladder in Charlotte. The wide-ranging conversation allowed participants to put themselves in the shoes of the people they will serve and to think a bit differently about the lives of people in poverty.

June 4, 2019

Tips for Talking About Poverty From People Who’ve Lived It

Recently, a dozen college interns from across the region gathered at Crisis Assistance Ministry as part of their orientation to a summer of service in Charlotte.   The interns will work in different roles at various organizations throughout the city, with one common theme:  serving marginalized people.

Leaders from Covenant and Myers Park Presbyterian churches, who will oversee the interns’ experiences, wanted to ensure the young people were grounded in an understanding of the issues surrounding poverty before heading into the field.  So, they turned to Crisis Assistance Ministry’s Civic Engagement Program.

The students were assigned a chapter from Gene Nichol’s new book, “The Faces of Poverty in North Carolina:  Stories from Our Invisible Citizens”, to read and were asked to create questions they’d like to ask people living in situations like the ones described in the book.

When the interns met with four community advocates to discuss the reality of life on the bottom rung of Charlotte’s economic ladder, the conversation was free-ranging and honest as advocates shared their personal experiences. 

Interns listened as the experts – people who have lived experience in poverty – shared their personal stories.

Imagine yourself in the other person’s skin

One question posed by an intern sparked heartfelt responses: “What advice do you have for someone just starting out as an advocate in the community?”  The answers were worded differently, but the message was the same:  imagine yourself in the other person’s skin.

Slow down.  Make eye contact.  Smile.  Suspend judgment and see the humanity within each person.  Understand that no one wants to experience poverty. 

Everyone wants the dignity of providing for their own needs.  No one wants to rely on public assistance or private charity.  No one chooses to be mentally ill, or physically disabled, or addicted to drugs.  At the core, we are all the same – the suit-wearing bankers striding down the street and the homeless people sleeping in the doorways they pass.

In a first-person account published a few years ago, “Not Poverty, Acute Financial Distress”,  author James Abro argued that we should not talk about “poverty,” due to the dehumanizing stigma associated with the word. Instead, he suggests the phrase “acute financial distress”.  When someone is in distress, he explained, we want to help them.

Abro also pointed out that poverty is typically seen as a permanent condition whereas, in reality, people slip in and out of poverty over their lifetimes.  The factors that lead to acute financial distress are varied – a car accident, job loss, divorce, health condition – the list goes on.  Each person’s story is unique and complex.  But, said Abro, “People prefer the stereotypes to the real stories – it makes it easier to maintain bad policies.”

Poverty isn’t just about money

One of the biggest takeaways for those in attendance was that poverty is not just about money.  It’s a constant barrage of stress – uncertainty, isolation, shame, and impossible choices.  For a glimpse at how tough those decisions can be, try your hand at an interactive quiz,  “Poverty Comes with Few Good Choices”.  The quiz appeared in the Winter 2019 edition of the Bush Institute’s journal, The Catalyst, which focuses on issues surrounding poverty.  

That edition also includes a conversation with Wes Moore, who grew up “on the precipice of poverty” and now leads one of the nation’s largest anti-poverty groups, Robin Hood.  “Too often,” he says, “When we talk about poverty, we talk about the people who are living in that terrible reality as if it’s a choice, or as if they’re lazy.”

Recognizing that poverty is the result of complicated and interrelated factors, and not a choice, is key. However, it’s equally important to see people suffering from acute financial distress as neither helpless nor hopeless. Surviving under such tremendous duress tends to forge strength and wisdom in people. They are survivors, and their voices need to be heard.  They are the experts in the subject of poverty and should be at the center of every conversation about it.

See me

As James (above) told the group, “Don’t feel sorry for me.  Just see me, really see me.  And listen to me.”

Filed Under: Advocacy Tagged With: Civic Education, Customer Advocates, Gene Nichol, James Abro, Poverty, Wes Moore

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Crisis Assistance Ministry

Preventing homelessness.
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  • Main Office:
    500-A Spratt St.
    Charlotte, NC 28206
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The ONE Charlotte Health Alliance mobile unit will be back onsite Wednesday AND Thursday this week. Wednesday (9 am to 4 pm) will focus on Free HIV Testing, and Thursday (10 am to 3 pm) will include a variety of health screenings.
No appointment is necessary.

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Crisis Assistance Ministry is closed today to observe Juneteenth. But the question remains: while Juneteenth commemorates the arrival of legal emancipation for formerly enslaved people, when will we loose the chains of economic disparity and move our community toward a place of equity? Read more in today's blog at the link in our bio.

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Crisis Assistance Ministry will be closed on Monday, June 20, 2022, in observance of Juneteenth. Typical business hours will resume on Tuesday, June 21.

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Help us spread the word that NC kids under 18 can get free meals all summer long.  To find a site nearby, Just text FOOD or COMIDA to 304-304  or visit @nokidhungrync online. No ID or registration is needed, children and teens ages 18 and younger just need to show up. 

FREE: Meals are free to children and teens ages 18 and younger who come to a summer meals site.
SAVE MONEY: Free summer meals will help families save money and stretch their already tight food budgets.
NUTRITIOUS: Food served at summer meal sites follows USDA nutrition guidelines and is paid for by the USDA.
SAFE: Summer meal sites are safe places for kids and teens to go, such as schools, churches, and community centers.
FUN: Many sites offer educational and recreational activities that kids of all ages can participate in so they can eat, hang out with friends and take part in activities offered.
NO ID, NO REGISTRATION: Parents don’t need to apply to the program to get a free summer meal for their kids. Children simply need to come to a summer meals site in their community and enjoy a healthy meal without the hassle of having to fill out an application or enroll in a program. No ID or registration is needed.

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This week, we welcome back @CROSSMissions which brings youth from across the Southeast 🚌✈️to Charlotte to learn and serve. In just 3 days, they assembled 43 fleece blankets for families who shop in our Free Store for essentials. These kiddos are some of our favorite #volunteers every summer!

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We are so excited to welcome @oneclthealth to our location at 500-A Spratt St in #CLT this Thursday, June 9 from 10a to 3p. No appointments are needed and you do not have to be a @CrisisAssistMin customer to visit for free blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol checks.

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The unofficial start to summer is upon us. School is almost over. Temps are high. For many, it is a time of family fun. But, sometimes summer also brings more challenges. What challenges are you navigating this summer?

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2/2 “Who knew that my encounter with Crisis Assistance would be the catalyst to relaunch me? To shake me out of a depression and a sense of loss, so that I could once again become a part of the helping community?” ~ Deborah

After resolving her crisis and completing an 8-week course to become a Customer Advocate, Deborah began volunteering—sharing her time, expertise, and her own experiences. When COVID changed things for everyone, she found a new way to share through Virtual Poverty Simulations which present participants with an online simulation highlighting the difficult choices families are often forced to make when struggling with limited financial resources. The discussion expands when customer advocates like Deborah share their personal struggles and experiences.

“It’s so important that participants see and hear the real, lived experiences of their neighbors,” says civic engagement manager Bonnie Tiernan, who leads the one-to-two-hour virtual experiences. “Advocates like Deborah help us bring the statistics to life by sharing their own struggles and successes in a powerful way.”

(Read the full story in "Deborah: Growing Stronger" at the link in our bio)

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"The more I share, the stronger I become. The story no longer has power over me. I have power over it."~ Deborah, mother, daughter, caregiver, and advocate

1/2: When we last looked in on Deborah, she was emerging from a time of crisis with a renewed sense of her purpose. After watching dementia slowly take her mother, battling her own depression, and ultimately retiring due to health difficulties, the master’s prepared social worker found herself somewhere she never imagined: sitting across the desk from another social worker, seeking help to dig herself out. Looking back, she remembers being met with kindness, concern, and hope.

“Who knew that my encounter with Crisis Assistance would be the catalyst to relaunch me? To shake me out of a depression and a sense of loss, so that I could once again become a part of the helping community?”
(Read the full story in "Deborah: Growing Stronger" at the link in our bio)

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